How to pace yourself

This subject title was suggested by a friend. She has a busy life with growing boys and late diagnosis of ADHD amongst other things. However, this topic applies to nearly anyone. Especially if you have busy and stressful lives. Hey that could be all of us right?

Our ancestors had their own stresses. Many had hard lives, but they balanced that with family and social celebrations. In our modern society we have become a little disconnected and disenfranchised.

We find ourselves chasing the almighty dollar for survival. We have mortgages or rent, loans, children to raise and feed, stressful jobs with responsibilities and health issues for some. We are go, go, go! We have forgotten to stop and smell the roses. We feel we are not productive if we are not 'doing' all the time. I am guilty of that one as well, being a type A.

So from my experience I have had to learn to slow down and prioritise. I have had health issues such as burn out and immune issues, which as a naturopath I know it due to being run down.

Pacing yourself, I believe, starts with acknowledging how much you do, making a mental note of what can wait and applying that. What can you delegate to another? Come on now. Time to be honest with yourself. Some people have unsupportive partners and that is hard. This is where we counsellors encourage developing a support system. I often suggest people join social or special interests on social media. This way you develop new friends with a like-mindedness.

Remember to do things incrementally. Sorting out your priorities and goals bit by bit. Don't go into overwhelm. I often say to people, and I do this myself, literally write things down in bullet point form. Put them in order of importance. Maybe also indicating the timeline that these things need doing. Their urgency.

Ultimately pacing yourself is a mindset. Getting into the mindset of focusing only on one thing at a time. Not allowing yourself to get flustered or distracted. I find I write bullet point lists all the time and it helps me greatly due to my stress originally being because I was holding space in my head for all things I needed to do. This led me to getting stressed too much. So I wrote my priorities down on post it notes and gradually ticked them off one by one.

As for inner turmoil that will reduce once you put this into practice and find time to breathe. Please do not skimp on self-care and down time!!! Lisa's orders!!! Down time and self-care are super important. Start with a five minute ritual at the same time every day. could be morning or evening or even in your lunch break, or all three!!! Sit with a cuppa in a green space and just breathe. Smell the smells, look at the colours, listen to the sounds. Refuse to think of obligations in these moments. Remember, you have a second brain in the bullet point lists. You're not going to forget to do those errands or help your boss. You have that covered. You just need five minutes to tell your brain, develop new neural pathways, that this is non-negotiable 'me time'.

Once you have this down pat, trying to expand from five to ten minutes then fifteen. Pacing ourselves comes from being aware we may be taking on too much and that we need to slow down, breathe, be in the moment and mindful. Delegation is important too. Figure out what others should be doing and being ok with leaving it with them regardless of the outcome. However, if what they do affects you, then you may need to have a conversation with them or if at work a higher up or HR.

You need to make yourself a priority in itself. Take the holidays, have the odd mental health day, don't feel guilty using sick leave. Have a laugh. Watch comedies, my favourite is The Big Bang Theory. Never fails to make me laugh out loud.

What really is urgent and what can wait? Slow your thinking down and maybe take up meditation or yoga. Go for walks. Take up a craft. Things that let you get lost in what you are experiencing.

With regards to ADHD having someone to talk to. Someone who 'gets' you. Don't be hard on yourself. You are valuable and amazing in and of yourself. Avoid the inner self dialogue that is self defeating and for every negative thought replace it with two positive ones. Especially good things about yourself. A gratitude journal. I used to write with a white board marker on my white fridge positive affirmations to remind me of self-love and self-care and if my son saw it then I am helping him as well as myself.

Never give up on yourself. You have got this!

I'll see you next month.

Lisa and Luna and Salem the wonder cats.