Our relationships and our mental heatlh

As humans, we are social animals. We crave company, support, validation and belonging. So what happens when these things are not present in our lives? We feel alone, rejected sometimes, vulnerable to danger, or the opposite - fierce independence.

In group situations we can be the leader, follower or contributor. We find out role in the group and align with that. However, if we are forced into a role where our true self is not recognised and we feel forced to suppress our natural needs then it causes discomfort. We either suppress this feeling or we act out. Or maybe even leave the group.

Also, we have to look at family of origin. Genetic predisposition to personality needs, how we were raised, if any trauma is involved. This all contributes to our make up.

If you are in an abusive relationship this impacts your mental health as does childhood abuse. As an EAP I see all the time people having issues with personalities at work. dynamics and cliques. All this impacts their mental health. Some mildly but also some severely. In a job situation or even some family situation people can't always just walk away. As a counsellor I can help with tools, strategies and support to assist you in dealing with things better. However, if the situation is severe then your mental health is too valuable to endure harm for too long. No relationship or job is worth losing your mental health.

I often see EAP as getting you back in the saddle. It is important, though, that your needs are a priority. In my private practice it is similar but different. I am my own boss and I focus on you and your situation, whatever that may be.

If you are really struggling in a relationship, whether work related or personal, then seek help. Don't be stubborn. Don't feel you need to do this on your own. Reach out for help. We counsellors can help greatly and have resources for appropriate referral.

Many people stick with it only to end up with compassion fatigue or burn out. This is serious. It can lead to other issues. Even suicidal ideation. It is SO important you see your GP and ask for referral to a mental health professional. You can also contact Lifeline 131114, Beyond Blue 1300 224 636 or Suicide Call Back 1300 659 467.

Please don't sit on it. Act asap.

See you next time.

Lisa